5 Reasons Survivors Don't Get Help

SOURCE: http://www.onyxtruth.com/

The constant question: why didn't you get help? Why didn't you tell anyone? Rape is the most unreported crime in the United States. 

From RAINN (Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network) and the hotline.org, two reference sites for survivors and supportors, here are five common reasons why survivors don't get help, even though they need it. 

    1.       They are ashamed. Because victimization, especially sexual victimization, is looked down upon as weakness by many, survivors often don’t want to let others know what happened to them. Many believe that they are at fault, that they did something wrong, that they deserved the hurt they got. Because of this, they keep it to themselves.

     2.       They are afraid of being blamed. Victim blaming and slut shaming run rampant in our society. Many cops do not believe it when people confess to being abused or sexually assaulted, leading already vulnerable people to doubt themselves, their story, and their worth. Again, they may start wondering if they deserved it. Some people may even ask what they were doing to provoke the abuse, especially if it is sexual abuse. In order to prove their trauma, they have to go through incredibly invasive procedures and interviews, which can be another trauma in itself.

     3.       Their attacker threatened them. Especially common in children where a family member or friend is the assailant, the attacker may threaten to hurt the survivor, or to deny the event completely, leaving the survivor looking like a liar.

     4.       They believe that their attack/abuse is not serious enough to report. As a society we are taught to suck it up and deal with it. People who have not been through a trauma sometimes can’t understand it. And because the media sensationalizes instances of unusually horrible trauma’s, many survivors feel like if their trauma doesn’t match up to the ones other people know about it isn’t “bad enough.”

     5.       The survivor does not have a support network. After a trauma, it is integral that the survivor have support. Without it, the fear of isolation that can come after being honest increases. The flashbacks and memories and feelings can be experienced to an even larger degree. And, very plainly, it is scary for a survivor to get help alone. Having moral support can give the survivor a boost in courage that they need.

    

My question is: how can we help? How can we change this? Is it a personal, familial problem, or a larger cultural/societal problem? Are these reasons the same everywhere, or do they vary from country to country?