CONSENT: Dos and Don'ts

Source: http://www.ams.ubc.ca/services/sasc/

Many victims of sexual assault are unclear if they were even assaulted because of their unclear understanding of “consent.” Likewise, many people who assault do not even realize they did it, because they do not understand “consent.” This leads many victims to feel like they were at fault or are in some way responsible for their assault. It also leads many community members to blame the victim.

The actual definition of consent is very simple, but lines get blurred during a crime. The University of Michigan defines consent as “when someone verbally agrees, gives permission, or says "yes" to sexual activity with someone else. Consent is always freely given and all people in a sexual situation must feel that they are able to say "yes" or "no" at any point during sexual activity.”

The definition of sexual assault is also very simple. From the Department of Justice, “Sexual assault is any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the recipient. Falling under the definition of sexual assault are sexual activities as forced sexual intercourse [of any kind], forcible sodomy, child molestation, incest, fondling, and attempted rape.”

Here are examples of when it is NOT consent for RAINN (Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network)

It is NOT consent if a person is under the influence of drugs or alcohol. The reasoning behind this is that the person is not in a state of mind conducive to making important decisions. If a person is supposed to be sober in order to drive or get a tattoo, then a person needs to be sober in order to consent to sex.

It is NOT consent if a person is under the legal age of consent. This is statutory rape, and even if this person gives the verbal okay, it is still rape, because of the law. The reasoning behind this is that the person is too young to fully understand what they are consenting too. There are arguments on all sides, but the law is the law.

This should go without saying, but it is NOT consent if the person is unconscious. Clearly this person cannot consent because they are not awake.

It is NOT consent if a person later changes their mind. If a person ever decides they no longer want to continue and the other person ignores this, it is rape. (Generally in a court of law the person has to actually have said no or fought back in order for this to apply legally, because rapists are not mind readers, but if it is evident that the person is thinking no, it still applies in social settings)

It is NOT consent if prior consent has been given (i.e. a prior relationship). Consent is like a drivers license. It needs to be updated in order to still be valid. If it isn’t updated, stay off the road.

My questions for further research include: What are steps do victims of sexual assault recommend for reducing the number of sexual assaults? Such as raising awareness of consent, etc.